I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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