Umm I'm too high to move.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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