it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
