What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
