Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
