Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
