i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
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