You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
