Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
