Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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