Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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