It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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