bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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