ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Me too!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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