so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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