I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
