I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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