Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
