I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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