Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How's work?
Spinning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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