Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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