kristin has been a bad kristin
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
