I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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