hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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