I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I lost the right to judge tonight
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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