Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
