Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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