Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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