His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
