Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
