Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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