Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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