The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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