Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
