So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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