God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
