no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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