Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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