arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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