FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
