Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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