girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
