I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
