Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize