that's an acceptable place to lick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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