gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
