I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
