maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize