Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
