Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
