There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
