i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
