yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
