If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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