So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
