its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
