Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
