She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
