Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
