ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
