I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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