i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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