I just made out with a guy for $7.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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