I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The ass gains better be worth it
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