If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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